


Lost and(sadly)found

by Bookwormsoup



Category: bts
Genre: Clumsy Namjoon, Fluff and Crack, I Tried, Im sorry if you read this, Implied Relationships, M/M, Sassy Jin, Shopping gone wrong, What Have I Done, actual sun Hobi, grumpy min yoongi, incident with a stroller, jin is the queen, mattress firm, namjin if you squint, peasant namjoon, pink converse, references to Canada and toasters, scarred jungkook, theres a sticky toddler at some point, vmin are platonic soulmates., what happens in Canada stays in canada
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-18
Updated: 2018-11-18
Packaged: 2019-08-25 06:59:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16656403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bookwormsoup/pseuds/Bookwormsoup
Summary: When Jeon Jungkook woke up he did not expect to be taken against his will to an outlet mall by a crazy eyed Park Jimin and his co-conspirator, Kim Seokjin.A sticky child attacks Namjoon’s dimples, and Hoseok saves Yoongi from being banned for life from Matress Firm.Chaos. Just.. utter Chaos.





	Lost and(sadly)found

Of all the things Jungkook thought he’d wake up to in the morning, it most certainly was not Jimin’s face bright with a smile and facial expression that had Jungkook already looking for a way out of whatever he was about to be forced into. 

“ Get up Kookie ! Jin hyung is making waffles and then we are gonna go shopping “ the older boy wasted no time in excitedly clapping his hands , and then proceeded to skip out of the room. ‘I have got to get a dead bolt for my door’ thought the golden maknae as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. . 

As he sat up ( 20 minutes later), he groaned at the realization that yes, he had been woken up to go shopping- it was not just a terrible dream-,turned to look at the clock ,and blinked groggily as he turned to look at his alarm clock; 6am glared at him in bold, red letters. 

This was going to be a long day.  
********  
“ Look who decided to join the land of the living “ chirped a- way too eager- voice in Yoongi’s opinion when he and Jimin joined the others in the kitchen. 

Three heads snapped towards the two boys in the doorway. They looked at the rapper in pity as he glowered at nothing in particular. It was a peculiar sight , with his mint green hair sticking up in all possible directions with his ever present done with life expression , standing beside Park Jimin , the living embodiment of mochi. 

“ Did you ever think that maybe I would have preferred the land of the dead?” Yoongi muttered, getting a “ Yes of course hyung! But we are going shopping today and everyone’s included!!” in response. The only people who didn’t groan at that statement , were either standing beside Yoongi, or making waffles. 

Taehyung looked suspiciously neutral , and Yoongi would bet his piano that this little impromptu outing was his idea. After all, there was a new Gucci store that opened up at the outlet mall. The brat. 

Yoongi sat down in between a sluggish looking Hoseok and Namjoon. (if the leader was facedown on the table sleeping, no one commented on it.)

“ Waffles have arrived “ came Jin’s singsong voice not even five minutes later. The reality of having to shop instead of sleep had fully dawned on them all as the waffles stared up at them from the table ; Yoongi could almost hear the faint sound of minds shattering at the revelation. At Least his wasn’t the only one.  
********  
The drive to the previously mentioned outlet mall was quiet, with the exception of Jimin’s humming along to the radio and Jungkook’s whine when they hit a speed bump periodically. 

Parking took forever and a day. First,a small, red car had sped into the first spot the seven had set their eyes on, and then an old woman took 13 minutes to walk to her vehicle (Hoseok had timed her while Tae hit his head against the window repeatedly). 

“ Should we split up into groups?” Suggested Hoseok as they all climbed out of the van. “ That would make the most sense” sighed - a now wide awake - Namjoon.

Jimin and Taehyung immediately called dibs on having Kookie shop with them - much to the youngest’s displeasure. 

Jin carted Namjoon away with a promise to” not let there be a repeat of the Canada incident ” Thus leaving Yoongi and the ray of sunshine that was Hoseok to pair up and happily escape the horrors that were shopping with the god of destruction and the troublesome trio of the group. 

******  
When Namjoon was physically yanked from his nice warm bed at god- only - knows- am , he did not expect to end up in a store called ‘Pretty In Pink’ staring longingly out of the window at the lucky passerby leaving the shopping center. 

When the duo broke away from their fellow members in the parking lot, he and Jin had made their way to look at a map of the shopping center.  
Which sadly, led to the rapper’s current dilemma of holding an armful of soft pink sweaters and somehow balancing a pair of bright pink converse on his shoulder.

“ Hyung, please just go with the millennial pink shirt instead of the pastel one. There’s a line forming” Namjoon turned to smile apologetically to the shoppers standing impatiently behind him. As he did so, he made eye contact with a man seemingly in the same situation Namjoon was in. Maybe in a perfect, pinkless world, he and the stranger would be happy. However, this was not a perfect, pinkless world. There was no happiness in their near future. 

“But I need something that will add to my handsomeness but not take attention away from it!” Came Jin’s exasperating reply. The leader sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, mind running through hundreds of scenarios of his chances of being able to salvage any sleeping time for the day ;There were no possible chances. 

He was baffled that he could figure out so many different intricate puzzles and riddles, but couldn’t for the life of him figure out what the difference was between the two pinks Jin was currently debating over buying. 

Unfortunately, the oldest took another hour in the store and only agreed to Namjoon’s suggestion of “ coming back on a less busy day” when a sales woman finally snapped and had a break down after being pulled into the task of helping Jin decide as well. The younger pitied her, but he pitied himself more when Jin found another store that piqued his interest. 

“ You know” The oldest said, snapping the younger from his exasperated thoughts , “ a better name for that store would’ve been pinkalicious” as he happily bounced along his merry way. 

Namjoon wanted to cry.  
********  
“ Really hyung? You want to go in mattress firm? What need do you have for a new mattress?” Asked a certain dancer as they made their way into the store.

Yoongi just shrugged and walked around in a circle before sighing, and then tossed himself onto what appeared to be a tempurpedic.

“ What are you doi-“ Yoongi turned on his side and ignored Hoseok. It clicked one minute too late in his brain that Yoongi was not in need of a new mattress. He was in need of sleep. 

“ Umm sir you are not allowed to actually sleep on the merchandise “ Hoseok turned around and mentally cursed the universe for making him babysit a sleepy Min Yoongi. 

“ I apologize for my friend ma’m , I’ll get him up “ the dancer smiled reassuringly and waited for the sales woman to walk away before he grabbed onto the other rapper. “ Hyung please get up. We will get in trouble”. Yoongi’s response came in the form of a snore followed by one eye racking open and then closing once again. 

“ Looks like I have I do things the hard way” mumbled Hobi. Suddenly, he jumped on the bed and yelled in the older rapper’s ear to wake up and then proceeded to jump on the mattress. 

“ SIR. ARE YOU JUMPING ON THE MATTRESS?” Hoseok stopped jumping for a moment and made eye contact with the same saleswoman. Embarrassed, he slowly got down from his monkey on a sugar high like position, and a helpful kick from Yoongi later, he was face to face with the baffled woman. “ I apologize for the disruption , it’s the only way I know how to get him to wake up” Hobi explained, he would have continued but judging from the way her drawn on eyebrows arched in irritation, he was only making matters worse.

He apologized again and this time picked up the older sleeping boy and threw him over his shoulder- effectively waking up his hyung.

“ HEY what’s the big idea you horse!“ Yoongi huffed tiredly with so much spite that he had Hoseok wondering if he would be the topic of the next cypher.

“ You cannot just sleep on the merchandise hyung. It’s against the rules “ 

“ Rules Schmules. Do YOU wanna get caught not shopping by Jin hyung ? It’s best to just sleep somewhere the others won’t look in and wake up when it’s time to leave.” That did make sense to Hoseok but still. Rules were rules and he took it upon himself to stop Yoongi’s turn to the dark side. 

“ OH come on hyung! The day won’t be that bad , promise.” And with that, Hobi tugged the elder out of Mattress Firm , and into the chaos that was the world away from napping.  
*****.  
Not only was Jeon Jungkook dead on his feet, but he was also being held captive by two very fast, very chipper, shoppaholics. His pink haired captor had yanked him out of GameStop with the help of his second, Gucci clad captor ,and led him farther into the inner workings of the shopping center. 

The maknae couldn’t help but feel like a hostage and Taehyung’s exclamation of “ Jiminie! Kookie is our prisoner. We should make him hold our bags!” did not help the matter. 

“ Hyungs I’m the golden maknae, I’m NOT you-“ he was cut off by Taehyung “ Chim Chim , if he is the golden maknae , is Kookie also a golden goose?” 

“ That’s a great question Tae, we’ll have to ask Namjoon hyung later” Jungkook hit his head against a display window as jimin and Taehyung hurried along. ‘Jokes on them. I don’t have to be in GameStop to get games.” He thought as he opened the App Store on his phone. 

The next time Jungkook looked up from the phone screen, the other two idols were nowhere to be found and he’d wondered over to some sort of girls’ apparel shops. 

“May as well hide out here”he said aloud ;a few passerby gave him odd looks. He didn’t care, if strangers thought he was crazy for talking to himself, then they hadn’t seen Namjoon’s incident in Canada. THAT was true insanity. 

The maknae ducked into the nearest store on his left without looking ( he failed to notice the mannequins in the window) and was shook to the very core when he saw lingerie everywhere he turned. 

Red and black lace was now a permanent scar on Jungkook’s brain. He suddenly wished he had amnesia as he made eye contact with a girl holding up a yellow set- stockings included. 

The maknae slapped his hand over his eyes as he stumbled around trying to feel for the exit , but as luck would have it, he only managed to journey farther into the stores’ depths. Letting out a cautious breath, Jungkook lowered his hand from his eyes…. and realized he’d ventured over to the dressing rooms. Girls Screamed when they saw him and that made the poor boy scream even higher in pitch and more scared than they did. 

Standing there and praying to every god in the universe to make him blind seemed to not work, so Jungkook quickly sought safety in an empty dressing room stall. 

He let his back hit the wall as he slid down on the ground and groaned. There was no way out of this.  
After a minute of staring at himself blankly in the mirror opposite of him, he shakily got out his cell phone and dialed Jimin’s number. Almost immediately after he did, a familiar ringtone rang out in the room beside his. 

“ Jungkookie is calling Tae Tae. Can you answer it for me?” Accompanied the ringing and the youngest nearly broke his neck he bolted up so fast, and climbed up on the stool to look over the stall wall. “ PARK JIMIN ?!!?!! WHAT ARE YOU-“ Jungkook cut himself off as he took in the scene before him. Taehyung was tying the strings to a black lingerie set covered in a thin layer of white, see through, lace at the top on Jimin’s body.

“ AISH it’s hyung to you brat “ was all Jimin said and Tae snickered. “ Kookie, how do you think I got Yoongi hyung to actually wake up this morning hmm? “ the - now forever changed in the maknae‘s mind- boy said as he checked out his butt in the mirror. 

Jungkook almost fainted.

“ OHHHH so THATS why Yoongi hyung’s hair was so messy this morning !!” Exclaimed Taehyung 

Jungkook fainted. 

*******  
“You know, if you continue to enhale the food at this rate, the chances of you choking and dying are very high” Jin scoffed at Namjoon and continued to devour his meal - albeit a little slower this time around.

“The chances of me dying any day are very high. That’s why I’ve gotta live life to the fullest and taste all the good food I can before I go, Joonie.” Seokjin said after he finished eating.“That’s oddly poetic.“ The rapper mumbled as they both stood to take their leave. 

Jin was proud of Namjoon ,he really was, the younger had yet to break a single thing today and to top it all off, he hadn’t tripped once. His little genius was growing up. 

An angry yell yanked Jin out of his thoughts and he facepalmed. “ Of course, I spoke too soon” he said as he turned to face the scene behind him. 

Namjoon was half laying on a table and half stuck in a stroller and a wide eyed toddler was tugging on his hair and sobbing. Loudly. 

“ Oh come on Joonie! I turned around for THREE seconds” Jin whined, leave it to the god of destruction to manage to tangle himself in an innocent child’s stroller.

“ WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!?” Screeched the mother as she stomped over towards the spectacle. Jin facepalmed a second time while Namjoon attempted to yank himself out of the stroller without kneeing the toddler in the head. 

“ um. It was.. an accident?” The leader paused, probably internally cringing because it sounded more like a question than a statement. “ GET OUT OF MY DAUGHTER’S STROLLER WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!” The woman resembled an angry mama bear whose cub had been threatened, which, Jin supposed, was quite valid in this odd turn of events. 

“ YOU” The woman wheeled on Jin,” GET THIS IDIOT OUT OF THERE” Her voice was borderline hysterical, and she was glaring harder than Yoongi did whenever the maknae woke him up before 3pm on a day off. 

Namjoon had the decency to look guilty amidst his hurried attempts at freeing himself. “ I’m sorry I really am it was an accident and” anything he was going to say was silenced by the loud snapping sound of a chair breaking. “ JOONIE! Did you seriously just break a chair? HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE. YOUR HAND BARELY KNOCKED INTO IT”this was turning into the worst shopping trip ever. Including the Canada incident.. 

The toddler, who happened to be covered in jam, stopped crying when her eyes caught sight of Namjoon’s dimples. Thus, she crawled out of her seat, climbed up his leg, and stabbed his dimples with her hands repeatedly. 

Jin muffled a laugh when he saw the leader wince.  
“ OOK MOMEE. PETTY PWINCESS” the little girl squealed as she continued to attack the clumsy boy’s face. 

“ YOU! GET THIS BAFFOON OUT OF HER STROLLER NOW” the mother continued to yell.  
Honestly, why yell at Jin , the oldest thought, he wasn’t the one who had caused this mess,  
So Jin truly agreed 100% with what he was about to tell the woman. 

“ Listen here ma’m, my friend did not mean to entangle himself in the stroller”- Jin’s voice got low, as he inched foreward slowly- “ but, I guess you didn’t see that since you weren’t even around your kids when the accident occurred. I mean, who leaves their kid alone in a mall? Sounds like you’re the one in the wrong here. NOT Namjoon.”  
She gasped, offended, and before she could respond, Namjoon finally yanked himself free. 

Jin quickly pulled him away from the scene ( and handed the younger all 16 of their shopping bags) 

Suddenly, the older stopped and turned back around once more. “ Also, you’re kid must be as blind as you because the only ‘pretty princess’ here is ME”

To make matters worse for Namjoon, on their way out of the food court, Jin saw two shirts that said “ Queen” and “ Peasant” on them in a store window. 

Namjoon came out of the store a peasant. 

Jin came out of the store prancing like the queen he was.  
*************

“ I could kiss you right now ” exclaimed a certain mint haired rapper at his beaming companion. 

“ Who wouldn’t? I’m literally the child of Apollo. “ joked Hoseok as he unlocked the car doors. 

He’d been smiling since he’d gotten the idea- Yoongi had thought he’d smacked his head on something in the younger’s excited jumping episode earlier. It wouldn’t be the first time something like that had happened;or the last, if the group ever went back to Canada.

Hoseok opened the car door and tossed the keys to Yoongi; Whoever had decided it was a good idea to trust them with the keys was wrong.

********  
“ YOU DID WHAT?!!?” Exclaimed a hysterical Seokjin as he cradled the maknae in his arms. 

Jimin has the decency to look ashamed, but Taehyung was unable to hide his laugh behind his hand. Namjoon blushes when he caught a glimpse of what was in Jimin’s shopping bag. 

Lace was very in right now, was the justification the boys in question gave to the -seething-oldest.

“ MY CHILD HAS BEEN SCARRED BECAUSE LACE IS POPULAR AT THE MOMENT? THAT’S IT. NAMJOON” Jin redirected his attention to the awkward looking leader, “GET MY MAN PURSE. WE ARE LEAVING.” “ um.. hyung it’s called a satchel.” 

“ ITS CALLED I’M NOT AFRAID TO SHAVE YOUR HEAD KIM TAEHYUNG” 

Jimin chose to stay silent, he was more concerned about Yoongi’s opinion on lace, he could deal with Jin’s wrath later. 

A gaggle of girls walks by and smiled at Jungkook, loudly whispering on how the group of boys looked like they were fresh out of a hot topic photo shoot. Taehyung sucked in a breath, offended, while the Golden maknae just simpered at the sight of females. It was too soon. 

********  
Hoseok woke up to loud banging on the windshield and Yoongi’s leg kicking him.  
The dancer, half asleep and very shaken, started frantically feeling for the button to unlock the doors so that the others could get in the van.

Everyone was silent as they buckled their seatbelts, except for Jungkook, who tearily gasped whenever he looked at Taehyung or Jimin for whatever reason;Hoseok didn’t care anymore, he just wanted to go home. 

Once everyone was settled- the 6 had molded themselves around Yoongi’s sleeping form so as not to get murdered for waking him up. A terrible fate awaited anyone who did just that. 

*******  
The seven stumbled sleepily into their dorm, bags of clothes and other random objects abandoned on the floors of their rooms. 

 

Before anyone could actually make it to their rooms to enjoy a nice, peaceful nap, Taehyung asked Namjoon why he had jam on his face.  
Jin huffed in exasperation and smiled fondly at the memory as he trudged into his room; Only Namjoon could pull something like that off.

“ HYUNG. IF KOOKIE IS THE GOLDEN MAKNAE, DOES THAT MEAN HE IS ALSO THE GOLDEN GOOSE?!?” Sounded throughout the dorm. 

“ No, you dingbat, Kookie is a bunny” 

“ Then he is the Easter Bunny” 

“ Tae, are you drunk”

“ Is Jin hyung gay for Brad Pitt?” 

“ yes” 

“ Then you have your answer Hobi hyung” 

The dancer groaned and walked away.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi so this is my first crack fic and I really want it to be part of a series but it all depends on how it goes with this one.  
> I really hope everyone who read this enjoyed it and would really love to hear feedback on it. Have an awesome day/night dudes :D


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